Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit

Category: Health

Don’t Fear the Beeps

About 10 years ago (and 15 lbs ago), I would run loops at Pate Hollow to train for ultramarathons. Today, I pulled into the parking lot with hopes of completing the 6+ mile loop for my longest run in over 3 years. What was once my “short” run, was now my long run goal.

A few weeks ago, a Facebook friend posted a message encouraging her “dog peeps” to join her in the virtual Iron Paws Stage Race, an 8-week stage race where participants run, ski, sled, and/or bike with their dogs attached to joring equipment. It was exactly what I needed, both physically and mentally.

I’d been hiking fairly regularly with the pups but was only getting out to one local trail about once or twice a week for a couple miles. The Iron Paws event helped me set goals to get out with the boys at least four times a week and now, in the Canicross division, to run a minimum of 12 miles per week.

The boys, Bugg (l) and Norbert (r)

The boys and I headed out on the long loop at Pate Hollow counterclockwise. This direction always felt harder to me, but I thought if I found myself a couple miles out and decided the full loop wasn’t in me today, that we might at least reach the lake view section of the run before turning back. I had attached my new GoPro to my chest harness in hopes of capturing some good footage, but one thing I forgot to do was silence the default beeping on the camera.

You see, in the House of Misfit Toys that I call home, my boys, Norbert and Bugg, have some quirks about them. Though they are litter mates, the two couldn’t be any more different. Norbert carries more of his father’s Cattle Dog characteristics. He is focused, driven, and takes his role as protector of the family very seriously.  Bugg is much more hound-like (their mother was a Treeing Coonhound/Basset mix). He is aloof, often scared of his own shadow, but mostly happy-go-lucky.  They are yin and yang.

One thing I learned soon after Bugg joined the family was that he was terrified of the notification beeps on my iPad. He would run into another room and curl up in a ball if a number of text messages came through all at once. We eventually worked through it and at most, he now looks up at me worried that the world will implode, before calming back down and relaxing.

Today, 1.5 miles into the run, I started recording on the GoPro…. However, the cold temperatures prompted it to turn off a minute later. *BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP*

Bugg immediately went into full panic and hit the brakes as Norbert dragged him along on their neckline.  I slowed and stopped and reassured Bugg that the end of times was not approaching, but he refused to leave my side.  After untangling the joring line several times, trying to prompt Bugg to start running again, and cursing silently in my head (*For God’s sake Bugg, WTF???!!! It is a BEEP!!!), I realized, I needed to stop pressuring him and instead listen to him and work through this trauma…. I detached their neckline and let Norbert pull the line out ahead while Bugg clung beside me as we hiked the next half mile or so.  I kept talking to Bugg and encouraging him with positive words. His ears started to relax and the panic in his eyes began to wane.  We started to trot, and after about a mile, I was able to hook their neckline back together and Bugg joined beside his brother for the rest of the run, both smiling.

Pate Hollow trail

I’ve always found these trails and the miles I’ve spent on them to be healing. As we continued down the path, I thought about the many miles I had run here and how, in those hours, I worked through so many of life’s problems and challenges and fears. Today, as I found myself a bit older, slower, and less in shape, I started thinking about my professional life and how of late, I had been feeling the weight of the glass ceiling (that felt more like 3ft wide Plexiglas) coming down on me and hoping that maybe I’ve put some cracks in it for the next generation to break through.

And then as I looked at my boys trotting ahead of me, with their tails in sync, I realized there is still so much potential ahead, be it running miles with my dogs or something else. You just have to work through some of those fears sometimes and not get paralyzed by the negative voices in your head, or in Bugg’s case, the beeps coming from the new GoPro.

Tails in sync

Beartooth Highway

2020 TAXA Outdoor Explorer posts

This past year, I was one of the inaugural professional ambassadors for TAXA Outdoors, sharing stories and habitat experiences through blogs and social media. As a steward of the TAXA culture, via writing and media posts and practicing a respect of the outdoors, I supported the community of outdoor adventurers, base campers, and pioneers who embody the TAXA founding philosophy of “OUT IS IN”.

Below are links to my blog posts from the past year.

April 14, 2020

https://taxaoutdoors.com/grounded-finding-joy-in-the-static-journey/

May 11, 2020

https://taxaoutdoors.com/in-every-direction-four-great-road-trips-north-east-south-and-west-from-the-crossroads-of-america/

August 14, 2020

https://taxaoutdoors.com/happy-place-safe-place-happy-place/

Bugg the Brave

A timid boy

In late February of this year, Bugg joined our family of misfit toys after his previous owner needed to rehome him. Bugg is a Treeing Walker Coonhound/Australian Cattle Dog mix and one of ten pups whose mother died of bloat soon after birthing them. If this story sounds familiar, Bugg is indeed, a littermate of my boy Norbert, who I’ve had since he was five weeks old.  When I heard his brother needed a home, and knowing I wanted another pup, it seemed obvious that I should see if we could make this work.

The moment Bugg trotted up on my front porch, it was love at first site. His warm eyes and sweet disposition were the first thing I noticed. I knew within hours that we would likely offer a home to him. Though red and white to Norbert’s tri-color, the two have many similarities – their butt spots, the way they hold their ears, their affinity for casing the cats… They also differ greatly. Where Norbert is headstrong, dominant, and protective, Bugg is passive to the point of frequent bouts of submissive urination.

This has been a challenge. Bugg is a big boy and Bugg has a big bladder.

Pre-race prep

Just prior to our new addition, I learned about the US Canine Biathlon from a Canicross Facebook page that I had joined.  Norbert had been my constant adventure buddy from the start – trailrunning, paddleboarding, skijoring, etc… He was quite the athlete and I thought participating in what is essentially a Tough Mudder with your dog, seemed like a great way to spend the day with him.

Once Bugg joined the family, he became part of our weekend hikes and runs. He quickly took to the fun but wasn’t quite as athletic/agile as his brother and was often timid when faced with a challenge (Bugg vs Log). In time, he started to try new things such as jumping in the lake and swimming out to retrieve a stick, but his insecurities were still a mountain. I called my trainer in to help and started a routine with me to help build his confidence.

Additionally, I took Bugg on a couple of road trips and camping trips with Norbert and me.  After his first road trip where he stood in the back seat for 4.5 out of the 5 hours each way, excited about every truck that went by, he had liquid diarrhea for two days following.  A camping trip later, his anxiety about riding in the car started to subside (though he still gets really jazzed about trucks!). Our next trip to Alliston, Alabama was a long one so I was prepped with some Pro-Pectalin on hand, just in case….  I planned on bringing him down with Norbert and me for the race so he could be exposed to the event, crowds of people and other dogs.

That was the plan.

Roadtrip to Alabama

“Look, a truck!!!”

What about Norbert?

Then, last week, my Norbert didn’t live up to his perfect social media persona and snapped at a hiker on a trail where some friends and I had been camping. Long story short, the guy was very understanding about things, but I was a mess. I had failed my dog. I knew he reacted to strangers sometimes and I made several mistakes (not being aware of my surroundings, not having full control, verbal or otherwise, of him, and not keeping the space I know he needs when out and about).  I had also made the mistake many owners make of not taking it seriously enough sooner (“MY kid isn’t a bad kid!”). When a dog is labeled “reactionary” people tend to think of the big dog that really bites down and could kill someone. Norbert isn’t that dog; but, he is the dog that will rip clothing and might just get some skin while doing so – he will also sound like Cujo as he’s doing it and is a fairly big dog which is intimidating to many. It can’t be a pleasant experience for the casual hiker just going out for a peaceful walk in the woods…

I was a wreck over it. Me, the dog person who knows how to work with my dogs, completely failed. I immediately recognized the errors I made, but also lost my own confidence that I could be certain not to let it happen again. It shook my world.

A call to my trusted trainer, Jeff Hacker, to postpone Bugg’s training to discuss, and work with Norbert, became priority. After just one session I felt 100 times better and had a plan in place that is already showing promise.

However, I was just days from heading south to Alabama and though I knew they allowed for dogs of all sorts to participate in the event, I was new to it and wasn’t going to put Norbert nor myself in a situation to err again.  After talking to my trainer, I decided to run Bugg instead, but still bring Norbert with me so he could be exposed to the event and see what was happening, but under my watchful eye.

With the decision made, we headed south with the The Doghouse in tow.  Norbert, who has many road trips in the books, settled in and napped most of the hours on the road while Bugg stood for all but about 15 minutes, excited about every truck that passed on the highway. “Look, a truck!  Look, another truck!!!”

I was glad I had Norbert with me. It was hard enough to make the decision to not run him, but to leave him at home would have broken my heart. When a stranger approached my camper at my stop Thursday night, where Bugg would have likely hid in a corner and wet himself had we been alone, Norbert was fully in tune and on the ready to protect me. Norbert may have a bad attitude at times, but is ever loyal and protective.

Sweet setup

Bugg’s Big Day!

The event was at Vapor Wake K9, a training facility for dogs who are trained in explosive detection. This was the fifth year for the Canine Biathlon, which I was told, has doubled in size every year through word of mouth alone. Many of the participants were from military and police backgrounds and had dogs trained in specialized programs – there were a number of Malinois, German Shepherds, and Doberman Pinchers, many of which were dog or people aggressive, but in full control by their handlers. In fact, during the whole weekend where there were over 800 dogs out and about, the only issues I saw were with pet owners (not the working dogs) whose dogs got loose or whose leashes were dropped during the race.

The forecast called for thunderstorms all weekend.  As it turned out the only time it rained was when I first arrived. We had about a 15 minute downpour just as I was setting up camp. Since I didn’t expect it to stop, I was completely drenched by the time I had everything set up.  Then the sun came out for the rest of the weekend.

The event and course was designed with dogs and their safety in mind, first and foremost. Humans be damned! As Paul Hammond, the Mad Brit, who designed the course stated in his opening remarks, “We always send the runners off first without dogs so they can clear the snakes for our beautiful furry friends!”

The course was a tough 4.1 miles and winds through the woods where there is plenty of shade and water.  It includes about 50 different obstacles that included sand hills, steps and platforms, pools of water (humans have to go under while dogs are able to swim above), A-frames to climb up and over, rocky creek beds with flowing water (Spider Mile), drainage pipes to crawl through, mud crawls, cars to go up and over (how many cars can be left in the middle of the woods???!!!), giant wooden spools to climb up and over, Snake Mountain which is an up and down hard dirt tortuous route with ropes for the humans to climb up and down (I left part of my left buttocks on one of the hills), a wall of tires to climb up and down through, Heartbreak Hill, the dunking pool, and a dog carry across a log (that was the one and only obstacle we couldn’t complete).

I had no idea how this was going to go but I knew we weren’t going to be racing. I knew Bugg would be glued to me out of sheer fear and would likely need some coaxing to complete some of the obstacles. If he refused or was too anxious, I would take the penalty and get through the day with him. He needed some time solo with me and I figured it could only help boost his confidence.

The course had two to three lanes with wide paths.  The starts were staggered, so that dog/human could go together without conflict. This helped prevent congestion and with rules that clearly stated to give faster participants the through way, there was plenty of space.

When it was time for us to go, Bugg wasn’t quite sure what to do.  The course starts by going up and over several small sand dunes. Bugg’s first reaction was to head off the course to the road but I prompted him to stay by my side.  Next came steps and a platform that included a wobbly bridge to cross. Bugg was a bit shaky and I could see he was considering jumping off the side which would have taken me with him since he was attached around my waist.  After several seconds passed, we made it across. Two short obstacles and already others were passing by us. I thought to myself, this was going to be a long day of going slow and providing lots of positive reinforcement. We’d take as much time as Bugg needed. A pool of water came next that had wires across the top just inches above the waterline.  Dogs could swim across and stay above water but humans had to go under to make it across. Once I entered the pool and was able to lift Bugg in, he completed it fabulously.

Then came a short run through a couple of windows to climb up through, a stream to run through the middle of, and our first drainage pipe to go through. This one was short and Bugg got in next to me and went through fairly well. Ah, he’s getting it!

We continue on down a path hurdling over a number of logs and then winding us back into the stream and to our next longer drainage pipe.  I had watched others do this in the morning and saw that all had let their dogs lead through. I did the same…

Bugg starts through and I follow on my belly, head first and crawling.  About a third of the way in, Bugg starts to panic and tries to turn around. With no room to pass me, he climbs on top of my head and folds his body in half over me.  I talk him down calmly until he melts into my arms and I end up slowly pushing him out backwards all the way through and into the water.  Once out, I layer on the praise and he starts to get excited. We head further down over rocks through the stream and get to the next, longer drainage pipe. I decide to go in first this time and cheer him on from the front. He follows me through and I give him major props when we exit.  I can’t remember how soon after that we went through our next pipe, but after that point, he was all about leading the way (and happily dragged me through a couple of them)!

Mud crawl (photo cred: T&C Pet Photography)

Later in the race, after Bugg had found his confidence!

The A-frames were another big challenge at first, but he quickly figured them out and was great about waiting on the top for me to find my footing and manage to make my way over with little bruising. As we entered the woods, he seemed to get more and more comfortable. Many rock beds, mud crawls, car climbs, and rugged trails later, we came up to three rows of three giant wooden spools. I guide Bugg up the first and hold him steady telling him to wait (he’s NOT all that well trained yet and I had images of him jumping over and taking me with him like a paddleball ball on a rubberband).  He stays focused, eyes on me, as I jump up and make my way over.  The second spool goes just as well with Bugg waiting on top, though a bit shaky, as I make my way up and over again.  The third spool is higher than the first two. I help get Bugg to the top with his harness handle and tell him to sit, which he does.  I jump up but can’t pull myself up.  I drop down and let the leash out as far as I can to give me a little room for a jump start. I start to pull myself up again, but my arms shake and give. I drop back down. I look up at Bugg and he has moved over to one side of the spool and looks me in the eyes. I swear I could hear his thoughts repeating to me what I had said to him in that drainage pipe curled into my arms, “C’mon mom, you got this!”

I step back and take a run hop and struggle with all my might to pull myself up just enough to steady myself and push with my feet on the spool sides until I could rest my chest on top.  I hold steady for a second and look up to see Bugg’s eyes looking down at me, “I knew you could do it, mom!”  I climb the rest of the way up and we get over to the other side and start heading down the trail for the tires, Snake Mountain, Heartbreak Hill, the dunking pool, etc…. From that point on, Bugg had a swagger about him. With his tail lifted, he carried his head up and was lighter on his feet.

When we crossed the finish line, I was handed a finisher’s medal which I immediately hung around Bugg’s neck. He seemed to know he did something special.  I sat down and hugged him and told him how proud I was of him and then the rain started… in my eyes.

Bugg the Brave!

A well-earned medal!

Epilogue

Bugg is still a work in progress when it comes to self-assurance, but the dog I brought to Anniston, Alabama is a completely different dog than the one I brought home to Bloomington, Indiana.  Both he and I have a new bond and level of trust with each other and both walked away with a bit more confidence.

K9 Grit

Deborah Glovier from K9 Grit and her Malinois, Ju-San

As for Norbert… I learned quickly in Anniston, that Norbert’s issues are mild compared to what many people there were dealing with in their dogs. The difference was that the people who were handling those dogs (mostly professionals), were fully aware of their might and had full control of them (in fact, the only issues I saw the whole weekend were with pet owners). I spoke to many others who had dogs that were reactive to either people or other dogs (and for a short moment had an image of taking Norbert through the Scared Straight Program). They provided a space where I could talk through some of my own fears without any judgement on their end. I walked away feeling certain I’d own, the hardest part, and be able to address these issues with Norbert (and myself).

After running the course with Bugg, seeing the layout, and the extra care they take to allow for dogs of all types to participate with their people safely, I’m sure I can do this with Norbert next year (and if I can stay in good physical shape myself, I might just run it twice so each dog gets a chance at it!)

These two boys from the same womb, have such different doganalities and needs. When I look at them together and separately, I know we are all meant for each other. I can’t wait for our next adventure!

Tired pup

Nothing like a fridge-fan pillow in the Alabama heat!

Orange Everest

My morning at Orangetheory Fitness in Bloomington, Indiana:

Alarm goes off at 4:59am

Brain: Alarm! Alarm! Get up!

Protective Layer of Fat: Hit the snooze! Get back in bed!

Dog: Gotta pee! Gotta pee! Gotta pee!

Cats: We’re starving!!!  Feeeeeeed us!!!!!!!!!

Brain: Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!!!

Heart: Yeah, up and at ’em! Gettin’ in shape! Transformation Challenge, Day Two!

Brain & Heart: It’s Orange Everest Day!!!

PLoF: WTH! You hate incline days. Get back in bed! Snuggle the dog! You need me to keep you warm.  It’s still winter outside!

Caffeinated Brain and Heart, ready to embrace the day, head out the door to OTF

Brain: Yeah, let’s do this! Head to the treads!!!

Heart: Let’s do this!!!

Coach Motivator: Okay, it’s going to be a 3G day, today! Treads only have 14 minutes on the mountain!

Brain & Heart: Yay! 3G!!!

PLoF: Only?!

Coach Motivator: Okay, 2% incline, joggers and runners at a push pace! We’re going to go up Everest to the top and then we’ll work our way back down!

Brain & Heart: We got this!

Coach Motivator: Let’s go to 4% in 3, 2, 1…

Brain: We got this!

Heart: Hello, Orange!

PLoF: Um… we’re only a couple minutes in here…

Coach Motivator: Alright, 6%!

Heart: Holy crap!

Brain: We’re good!

Coach Motivator: Treads we’re moving up that mountain! 8%!

Heart: OMG…

Coach Motivator: Bend into the hill. Eyes up!

Brain: Eyes up! She’s talkin’ to you.  Eyes up! Wait, is that Donna Summer on the soundtrack? Yeah! “Lookin’ for some Hot Stuff, baby, this evenin’!”

Heart: “I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight!”

PLoF: Disco is Dead.

Coach Motivator: We’re going to 10% now! You are stronger than you think!

Brain: I am! I am stronger than I think! We’re climin’ Everest!!!

Heart: Um, Brain, maybe we should take the speed down a bit more….

PLoF: You’re gonna give Heart an attack, Brain!

Coach Motivator: Treads look great!

Brain & Heart: We look great!

Coach Motivator: Treads to 12%

PLoF: Bite me, Coach M.

Heart: Oh, crap.

Brain: Okay, okay, let’s walk a little bit.

Coach Motivator: We’re going to the top of the mountain! 15%!

Brain: Just keep movin’! We can do this….

Heart: Okay, Brain… What’s this song?

Brain & Heart: “Wake me up when it’s all over! When I’m wiser and I’m older…”

PLoF: It does have a catchy beat…

Brain & Heart: We got this!!!

Coach Motivator: We are going down the hill now! Back to 13%!

Heart: Okay, we’re over the hump!

Brain: Yeah! C’mon Heart, let’s start runnin’ again!

PLoF: You know, technically, we are NOT going downhill.  We are still going up, just at a slightly lesser incline. Slightly! I thought you guys were college educated!

Brain: You know, Protective Layer of Fat, I think you’re right…

Heart: This is still hard.

Coach Motivator: Going down to 11%

PLoF: What have I done to deserve this? I feed you chocolate and beer and all you want to do is get rid of me? Where’s the love??

Coach Motivator: We’re heading down that mountain to 9%!

PLoF: This ISN’T down! It is still an INCLINE!!!

Brain: Oh hush, Protective Layer of Fat. It FEELS like we are going downhill now!

Coach Motivator: As we go down the hill, see if you can up your speed!

Heart: Let’s not get crazy, Coach Motivator!

PLoF: Coach Motivator has no PLoF! If she ever had any, she murdered it! “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

Coach Motivator: 7%!

Brain: Yeah! Let’s up the speed.

Heart: Um… okay…

Coach Motivator: 5%! You are so much stronger than you know!

Brain & Heart: Yes, we are!!!

Brain: Is that MJ playing?!

Heart: Yeah, Michael!!!

PLoF: You two are so 80s…

Coach Motivator: Going to 3% for one minute followed by a 1 minute all out at 1%! You are almost there!

Brain: C’mon we can do this!

Heart: Easy on that speed, Brain!

Coach Motivator: 1%! One minute all out!!! See what you’ve got left in the tank!

Brain: Yeah! Let’s do this! All out!!!

Heart: Um, tank is runnin’ low.  A minute takes a while…

Coach Motivator: 30 seconds!

Brain & Heart: 30 seconds?! We can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds!!!  Up that speed!!!

PLoF: Help me! I’m meeeeellllllttttting!!!

Coach Motivator: Okay, treads to rowers; Rowers to weight floor; Weight floor to treads!

Brain & Heart: Yay!!!

PLoF: *sigh*

IMG_7169

2016 Travels with Norbert

With the temperatures warming, the urge to hook up The Doghouse to the Outback and head down the road with my favorite traveling partner in toe, grows.  While prepping for some new adventures, here’s a pictorial year in review of my travels with Norbert!

April – HDI (Help Desk Institute) Annual Conference, Orlando, Florida with a stop in Central, South Carolina:

Norbert and I trekked down to Orlando for one of my work conferences where he landed us a free upgrade to a business suite that included a full bar and lounge.  Along the way we made a stop in South Carolina where we stayed with a friend’s friend and were treated to some great food, conversation, drink, and a beautiful day hike.

IMG_7834

May – Bonnieville, KY for Speleofest weekend

This rookie RV’er learned some good lessons during this first trek out with The Doghouse which included knowing ahead of time where you are heading in a campground and not taking 1600 lb trailer up a muddy hill even if you have all-wheel drive, accepting help from strangers when needed, and understanding that a place in Kentucky called Lonestar has nothing to do with Texas and everything to do with its abundance of ticks. The best part of the trip was hanging out in The Doghouse during a rainy night, drinking cold brews and exchanging laughs with friends.

June – SUP with your Pup class and Shenandoah National Park, Virginia

All of my travels have had their significance, but this trip east was a decision I made unlike any other. It was the result of a culmination of events in my life and in the world around me that tipped the scales (we’ll save that for another blog post though).

Perhaps it was a mid-life crisis, but call it what you will. I came to the realization that I had spent too many years trying to live up to others’ expectations or waiting for abc to happen, or for xyz to come along… When another trip with friends changed too many times, I decided it was time to walk away and do something for me. I had read a book the year before to teach Norbert how to standup paddle board with me and had found a class back east that the author taught. I hopped online, found an upcoming class, and before I knew it, I had signed up for a class in Virgina.

I searched for places to stay with Norbert and nothing was appealing or particularly cheap (I paid an extra $50/night in Orlando during my conference to have Norbert in the hotel with me). Long story short, I bought a Taxa Outdoors’ Cricket Trek, now dubbed The Doghouse, so my boy and I could travel with ease.  My second trip with it would be a cross country trip to this class as well as a campground in Shenandoah National Park where I met up with a dear friend I hadn’t seen in about 20yrs (NOTE: This IS the year the Cubs won the World Series)

July-August – Copper Harbor, MI

We traveled north to Copper Harbor with some friends where the boy and I paddled everyday in walking distance from our campground while my pals took a mountain bike class. The waters of Lake Superior (north of the Lake Fanny Hooe, where we paddled) was crystal clear (and cold!)  It definitely made me think more about what we do to our environment and the abundance of potable water that Americans take for granted.

September – Colorado

Longest road trip to date. I went to Colorado for several reasons. I had been thinking of joining a Cricket Rally in Eagle in mid-September. Then, I received a wedding invitation from a friend who I wasn’t particularly close to but felt a strong kindred spirit connection. Maybe it was the mountains, but something drew me, and I knew I needed to go and be present. It was a long drive, but I was able to keep Norbert entertained with my singing.

Norbert and I made our way to the Great Sand Dunes National Park, Steamboat Lake State Park, Carbondale (where I took a day trip to the Maroon Bells and another to Delta where I saw another dear friend I hadn’t seen in over 20 years), and then to Sylvan Lake State Park. After my two-week trip, I can say with certainty that I’m in love with Colorado.

Trips in the Great Sand Dunes, Carbondale, and Sylvan Lake State Park (Norbert w/ Taxa Outdoors’ Cricket founder and architect, Garrett Finney)

Trip to beautiful Maroon Bells and to Delta to see and old friend and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known.

My first planned trip in 2017 had to be cancelled due to some unexpected events, but I worry not.  As I get more comfortable going off the beaten path and off grid with Norbert, I know new adventures await.

Perhaps it’s time to pull out a map and toss some darts…

Reading comprehension (or How I ran 50 miles under 11 hours)

I am a 46-yr old cyclist who runs.  In my youth I was an athlete – I played softball, basketball, volleyball, and ran track.  My freshman year in high school, my track coach gave me the option to be a miler or learn to hurdle.  I saw what the distance runners had to do for workouts and opted for the knee-cracking hurdles.

Until I took up cycling in my late 30s, I never envisioned myself as an endurance athlete and when I took up trail running, I considered myself a cyclist who runs sometimes.

After a couple of 23K trail runs, followed by two 60K ultras in the last two years, I decide to attempt my first 50-mile ultra at the well-organized and supported Land Between the Lakes trail run in western Kentucky.

The crew

Linda, Tracy, Alan, and me pre-race

The day starts out well and once the crowds thin out, I find my groove in the second loop when a blonde streak flies past me and another nearby runner.  I recognize Scott and yell out a cheer to him to which he surprises me with a “Thanks, Momi!” and then disappears as quickly as he arrived. The woman running near me incredulously asks, “Who WAS that?!” And with chest-pumping Bloomington pride I respond, “THAT is Scott Breeden.  THAT is the man who is destroying the 60K record today!”  Suddenly, my feet feel lighter and I continue down the path channeling Scott’s mana.

I am by no means fast, but I thought I’d easily arrive well ahead of the cutoff with plenty of time to finish under the 11hr limit.  About halfway through the second loop though, I start having stomach problems which slows me to a walk a number of times for the rest of the loop and a good portion of my third.  In addition, I misstep and take three minor spills in my first three loops which adds to my intestinal distress.  I remember reading an article about Ellie Greenwood getting ill in some of her 100-mile races and that she would just sip water for a while until things settled.  I decide to take her advice and start feeling better with about 3 miles to go in the third loop.  I begin doing the math in my head and realize I am cutting it close.  My right hamstring starts to cramp so I grab an electrolyte tablet from my back pocket and swallow it dry and keep pushing on.  Finally, I arrive at the end of the third loop with 3 minutes to spare.

Hats

Tracy is waiting for me at the aid station and sees the panic in my eyes.  She quickly calms me and asks if I want to continue and reminds me I can cut it down to the 60K.  I tell her I’m going and she tells me that I can slow down and relax now in the last loop and then yells out words of encouragement as I disappear back into the woods.

I’m alone on the trail now, going easy, getting my heart rate back down when I start doing the math.  I calculate again and come to the realization that I not only have the 11.3 miles on the trail loop, but also another 3 miles on the road to the finish and I need to keep my pace up in order to make it under 11hrs.

I turn my legs over faster, knowing that the next six miles are fairly flat and I need to gain some time before I hit the hills again.  I start psyching myself up and my brain starts talking to me…

I am a cyclist who runs. I’m a runner! I’m a TRAIL runner!  I am Scott Breeden! I am Chris Vargo! I am Ellie f****** Greenwood!  I AM A M***** F****** TRAIL RUNNER!!!

I stumble over a root and almost do a face plant.

Little steps, little steps, little steps…  get up the hill.

Stumble.

Careful, careful, careful, foot up, foot up, foot up!  Downhill… C’mon, Ford! Go, go, go!!!  Okay, keep going, keep going, c’mon get up here, okay, walk, walk, walk faster.  Get through the stop fast.  Grab water, take a gel.  Damn, shoulda taken a gel! Too late, keep going!

I catch up to a fellow runner at the next stop and ask if he knows how long the out and back is. He says 0.6mi each way and then an additional 1.8 home – so 3 miles on the road.  I head back out for the last couple miles on the trail.

With about a mile left on the last loop, my right hamstring begins to cramp.  Damn, no gel!  I remember I have an electrolyte tablet with me so I down it dry.  Keep going, keep going, you’re okay, c’mon you can do this.  I look at my watch and do the math.  I pick up the pace trying to get on the road with some padding.  Damn, not gonna get to the road fast enough. C’mon, spin the wheels, keep going.  Okay, walk just a little more…

Then I hear my friend Linda call my name and get a glimpse of her through the trees, I start to move again and wind out of the woods with about 37 minutes to do the three miles.

First loopStill smiling during the first loop!

I come out of the greenery to Tracy, Linda, and Alan all cheering me on.  Tracy asks if I want her to run beside me and I nod yes because speaking takes too much energy.  Like a person going into hypothermia whose body functions turn inward for survival, what little energy I have is focused on putting one foot in front of the other.  Tracy tells me to keep going and she will catch up.  I’m already heading up the road in automatic drive. I hear Linda and Alan and others cheering me on and one of the LBL staff directing me up the road for the out and back telling me it’s 0.8 miles to the turn around.  My brain is screaming at him.

0.8 miles?! What do you mean 0.8?!  It was supposed to be 0.6!!!

I do the math.  Shit, I need to go almost another half mile more!  He tells me what I already have calculated – when I get back it’s another 1.8 to the finish so 3.4 total.  I scream some more in my head to the deaf running gods.

3.4?! It was only supposed to be 3 more!!! 

I do more math and any padding I had coming out of the woods is quickly diminishing.  I head up the road.

I hear Tracy’s familiar patter coming up behind me and she settles in providing me with words of encouragement and telling me that it’s just up the road a little bit more.  And then starts to tell me that I need to keep pushing to make it and that I will hate her but that she’s going to make sure I keep going.  I tell her that I don’t hate her and that no matter what I say in the next 3 miles back to her, that I love her more than anything.  I then tell her to stop running ahead of me and get next to me.  She asks me questions and I reply with “You talk! I don’t want to talk! Too much energy to talk!”  She keeps pushing me to keep going.

A runner returning from the turnaround catches my eyes and offers more positive words and notes that the downhill will be sweet.  I look ahead and see the slight incline that looks like a mountain to me at this point.  I utter out to Tracy, “How much further?”  She responds with certainty that it is just around the corner a bit, up a little, then flattens, then up a little more and then we’re home free.  Little did I know that she couldn’t remember at all what it was like and made all of that up.  I then see a sign ahead and ask if that is the turnaround and she confirms it (and is correct).  I get a little more energy and get to the turnaround and start heading back.  I pick up a little bit of speed on the downhill and start heading back toward the forest exit.  Tracy runs ahead to the aid station to get water and a gel ready for me.

After a few sips of water and a dollop of gel, I head back out toward the highway, down a wonderful hill and then start going up over the first of two bridges.  Linda has now joined us and Tracy continues to push me on.  I start to lose it, feeling like I can barely keep going.  I utter out, “Stop talking!”  She reminds me that I will hate her but she is going to keep pushing me on.  I tell her I don’t hate her followed by ordering her to my left side rather than the right where cars are coming. I know I’m about 1.25 to 1.5 miles out still and look at my watch that shows about 17 minutes to get there.  I start to walk just wanting to slow for a couple seconds.  Tracy pushes me to keep going and I snap at her and tell her I have 17 minutes to get there.  She says according to her watch I have 14.  My brain screams, Oh shit! My watch might be off!!!  Crap!  Alan drives past us taking pictures and cheering followed by one of the LBL volunteers driving by cheering.  I start to go again.  A stranger drives by honking and cheering. I see an LBL volunteer down the road who comes out to stop traffic on the highway for me to cross.  I know I’m near. I cross and head down the hill to the finish, stretching out my strides and summoning any fast twitch muscles still awake.  My middle-aged eyes can’t focus on the clock ahead so I push on.  About 100 feet from the finish I see a 10:5x:xx and I know I’m going to make it.

I cross at 10:53:37 with my friends Beth, Jill, and Jean cheering me in.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  When I’ve run LBL in the past, I might try to up my pace a bit, but in general don’t race.  I usually enjoy the run and the people around me, but on this day, in order to make it under 11 hours, I truly raced the clock and pushed myself unlike anything I’ve ever done.  The last six hours of that run took every ounce of physical and mental effort I could muster to make the time.

Post 50 miles

Yes, it hurt as much as it looks!

Last night, two days post-race, I look over the finishing times thinking I was the Lanterne Rouge of LBL only to find several runners who came in over the 11-hour time limit, the last ones arriving at the 11:41 mark.  It was then that I re-read the rules that were clearly stated online:

NOTE: Due to time limits, NO COMPETITOR WILL BE ALLOWED TO START A FOURTH LAP UNLESS THEY ARE ON PACE TO FINISH IN 11 HOURS. This means that 60k runners must start their 3rd loop by 1:45, and 50 milers their 4th loop by 2:15 p.m.

Nowhere does it say you have to FINISH in 11 hours, you just have to be on PACE to do so at the end of the 3rd loop!!!

I shake my head realizing that reading comprehension was never my strong suit. My brain yells out,

I am 46 years old and I am a trail runner!

The Belt Buckle

Sweet hardware

 

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